So there it was, that pair of jeans I bought 6 months ago. They are a size 10, super stretchy, skinny and fitted, I'm pretty sure they will fit. Looking back now I remember how that felt, how my first thought was that I bet I won't even get my thighs into them let alone do them up. I had been wearing a size 14 for years, I felt comfy in them but they were no longer staying up. When I started to lose weight and to see myself looking trimmer and my clothes were feeling roomy (finally ... felt like it had taken ages but that's a story for another day) I popped into Zara and picked up a pair of jeans to motivate myself to stick to the plan. Choosing a size 12 would have been sensible but hey, you know me ... never half-hearted or half-assed ... which was my concern lol. If I got them over my thighs ... would I get them over my glutes ... and then do them up. eek ... what if they don't fit ... what if I hate the way they look ... what if ...
OK - enough with the self-doubt and negative self-talk missy ... just put them on ...
So with a deep breath, that's what I did.
I genuinely thought that my whole life would be different if I just lost weight, I would feel better about myself, and yes that's true, I did. I would fit into my clothes, yes I'd started wearing a smaller size. I would be happy with my new figure, yes, I was happy enough although still had a way to go and being the typical overachiever I am, I felt like I needed a new challenge. A new level to reach and that didn't necessarily mean a smaller size.
So yes I'd lost weight ... goal achieved ... what now?
Was I finally happy?
Was my life completely different?
What I didn't realise is that losing weight was just the beginning of my journey.
The start of a new adventure and something that would keep me motivated and focused on the road ahead.
So from my initial weight loss achievement, I decided to push the boundaries and compete, I became a bikini athlete and after working with a coach got onto the stage in a stupidly small bikini. I had no idea what I was doing, I was way out of my comfort zone, not only in the bikini but wearing heels, full makeup and showing off my new figure, lining up with seasoned athletes I was a fish out of the water. So I'm sure you can understand my amazement when I placed in two different competitions for two consecutive years, great fun and an incredible achievement, earning my FMC Pro Card, this year I'll be back on stage, whoop!
The point of my story today is simply this, we set goals, we work our asses off to achieve them and when we get close we seem to take our foot off the gas and accept our progress so far as 'being enough' ... feeling 'happy enough' with the result ...
Why do we settle?
Is it because we fear failure? Do we accept that 'mediocre' is good enough?
Yes, I've done better than I thought I would do, that's enough for me ... feeling lucky just to have made it so far. Do we just feel like we need a big glass of wine and a mental break?
Is accepting where we are about self-sabotage? Is it because we never really believed we could actually achieve that goal. Why is it that we are able to be focused and disciplined in the week and as soon as we see progress, we reward ourselves with a night out and end up back at square one come Monday morning.
I was thinking about this the other day and my initial reaction was its because we fear failure, when in fact I think it's likely that we fear success ...
This is because we don't know what life looks like once we've achieved our goal and for that reason, we settle, moving from outside our comfort zone to inside it. That is human nature.
I'll be happy if I lose weight.
Simply not even considering the unintended consequences of it.
Questions like this spring to mind ... what happens if I don't like how I feel? how will it affect my relationships? will my partner still find me sexy? will I still find my partner sexy? what are the things I will need to put into action once I've achieved my goal ...
What are those unintended consequences?
This dialogue is important to have as we see changes happen. Being honest and open-minded about where the road we are on is likely to take us is important to consider. This is something that I have tried and tested over the years and forms an important step we map out when we work together, the ladies on my Ultimate Body Formula Program do this at various stages throughout the program. We like to think of body transformation as a journey, not a line we cross ...