Mindset Training Series #3
How to Change Your Mindset and Turn Lions Into Kittens
Everything around us is in a state of evolution, our environment, minds, bodies, attitudes to life, our mindset ... shaped by the world that we live in, our experiences and the life lessons we learn.
Our habits have formed over time and have helped us survive, many of these have been passed on from one person to another, one generation to another. It is amazing to know that 95% of our action is determined by our habits, the things we do on auto, the rituals we perform every day. No breakfast, the 3 pm biscuit break, going to sleep late, watching TV with chocolate and wine on Saturdays, stretching every day, drinking enough water, leaving work late ... some are health promoting and others are health destroying.
Not only do we do everyday things out of habit but we also have an automatic survival mechanism that kicks in when we feel threatened or alone or under stress. These habits form our reality.
The interesting thing is that we can change the outcome by changing the things we do.
Simple? Yes ...
Easy? Keep reading ...
The Danger of Ambiguity
Imagine that you were in deepest darkest Africa, exploring in one of the game reserves, you found yourself looking at the silhouette of an animal sitting on the horizon. You have no idea how big or small it is, you have no idea if that silhouette is of a lion or a much smaller cat ... what do you do?
The thing to do to ensure survival is to assume its a very hungry lion ... not to be the person who takes a chance and approaches it for a cuddle because they are the ones most likely to get eaten ...
In reality, most of us don't spend time in the wild anymore and therefore we don't see lions ... we do however encounter threats to our well being every day. For most of us, the biggest stressors are things like work, financial worries, health, relationship problems. We face stressful situations every day, these are our 'lions' that we now must try and overcome if we’re going to be successful in life.
It’s All About Perspective
In most situations, it’s all about perspective and our mindset when it comes to our reaction to threats. If we think ah that's a kitten, then we will be able to remain calm and collected even if it is a metaphorical lion.
Learning to reassess each situation and take control of our initial thoughts surrounding it, is the way that we can cope with it, respond in a controlled and measured way and ultimately survive.
Addressing the underlying reasons for viewing the world the way we do is the key here. Why do we react that way? Why is that response on auto? What are the reasons for staying stuck? Stuck in a pattern of behaviour? Is it about past experiences? Self Doubt? A lack of confidence? Is it a habit that can be changed to serve you?
I can't go to the gym because I don't know what to do ... (did it once and felt intimidated by all the fit people working out)
I can't prepare my food in advance ... (I would rather eat on the fly its more fun)
I can't approach that person to discuss my business idea ... (they remind me of my old boss and she laughed at my last one)
Can you see how these auto responses keep us stuck when we respond the way we do on auto, based on our past experience positive or negative, that knee jerk reaction that doesn't represent reality - until we create it ...
How do you turn your situations into kittens? Assess exactly why you’re afraid and whether or not there really is a good reason for you to be.
Change The Narrative
I'm heading to the gym - I'm meeting my friend, we are going to work out together ... I'm also going to sign up for some personal training and have a program designed for me ... I'm one of the fit people in that place ...
I know where to buy healthy lunches - when I'm at the office and will get home in time to prepare an amazing dinner that ticks the boxes. When I'm on the road I will plan my meals and prepare what I need so I don't get stuck eating service station food .... all it takes is a little planning and I know that to be 100% in control I need to do it myself.
I'm going to approach everyone I know about my business idea - I need the support and perspective of others and a critical eye is good!
So Here's Your Challenge Today
Take another look at each situation before you respond on auto - see how this unlocks your potential in that situation and helps you move forward.
Remember: it’s all just perspective.
Change your mindset and you change the reality!
Download my WOMAN IN MOTION cheat sheet and discover the 3 things I did to change my reality.
Mindset Training Series #2
How to Build a Gratitude Attitude and be Free Right Now
If there is one place where we should be completely free, then it is in our own mind. We might have limitations in terms of what our bodies are capable of and what we’re allowed to do – but our minds should be free to roam wherever we want them to.
We should be able to dream big dreams and not be limited by our thoughts ... and yet we are. Our thoughts are often dictated by our circumstances and at times those circumstances feel like they are largely out of our control.
This is why we will often find ourselves feeling dissatisfied and constantly wanting to push forward, frustrated by our situation, our lack of time, our million jobs to do and feeling overwhelmed, and life just gets too much. We get resentful, angry and rather than stopping to take a moment, refocus and simplify things, to maybe live and enjoy the day, all progress stops.
Been there? I bet you have. I bet some of us are there right now ...
What is your answer when someone asks ... Are You Happy?
We all want to be happy, fulfilled and feeling like we are making good progress in life, correct? As business owners, probably perfectionists, it is hard not to live in a state of dissatisfaction. Where we constantly feel like we can do better, we should do better, maybe life would be better if we did, X, Y & Z.
Yes, there is always room for improvement. The key I have come to realise is to be satisfied with the work you are doing and the steps you are taking and the success you have had so far.
In preparation for the year ahead, I have been working through a Clarity and Planning exercise that I was introduced to by my friend Jane Frankland from Cyber Security Capital. What an eye-opener it has been. The first part is about rating your performance in key areas of life like - physical fitness & health - food nutrition - psychological & emotional health - relationships & family life - social & friends - job, career & business - leisure - spiritual - environmental - intellectual & learning - finances. From there you are asked to make a list of your successes & achievements for the past year - OMG! I started writing these down and realised just how far I had come and how much I had actually achieved in the year. I could see where my focus had been and how it had shifted from the year before, what an amazing exercise to do.
So now when I find myself feeling as though there’s this ‘one thing’ that could make my life better and be happier, I am reminded of all the things I have achieved and feel grateful and proud and am able to acknowledge my wins. #thankyoujane
It's about a mental shift in attitude, taking the time to plan and reflect is so important especially for us as business owners. It's not always just about the numbers, its about all the other things on the periphery too.
Why do we do what we do? Why are we business owners? Why do we get out of bed in the morning and take on another day? Where is your focus now? Where should it be?
All valid questions worth a serious answer ...
Do you need to make a change?
So how do you make a change and start to be freer and happier right now?
Dealing with overwhelm is one of the most difficult things to do when you are feeling like everything is too much. In reality, life is cha-cha-cha ... we all take little steps forwards and backwards but ultimately make progress.
The 3 things I do when facing overwhelm ... are ...
- Get rid of any distractions
- Grab a diary and plan in non-negotiable time, from there it is easy to see where the gaps are.
Start with your diary and block out non-negotiable time for when you are travelling, picking up kids, going to the gym, prepping your food, taking some downtime. Then take your optimists' hat off and get realistic about how much time you actually have in your day for other things, like checking social media, catching up on email, taking phone calls meetings and all other things related to work. What gets planned gets measured ... so apply this principle to your day.
The way I do this is to split my day into thirds:
5am - 8:00am - I get up at 5am - quick stretch, water, coffee and I then head to my desk for 5:30 - this gives me 2+hours of uninterrupted time to work on my business and I only do the things that will help move me forward that day - so no social media or email catchups - its too easy to get distracted by these and get stuck in the rabbit hole - lol - I know you know what I mean.
8:00 - 1:30pm - I then get going, shower, breakfast and work in my business, this allows me to connect in class, on coaching calls, posting on social media, answering emails etc. I usually work until lunchtime and use this as a natural break to get some food in, take the dogs for a walk and do the little things that make me happy.
2:00 - dogs out, decompress and take some time
4:00 - 7:00pm - I then head back to my desk for another few hours late afternoon where I work in my business until hubby gets home and we have dinner and catch up time. If I need to I will then head back to my desk and get another hour or so working on my business before bed around 10:30pm.
So that may sound like a lot of work time - and yes it is - what this routine allows me to do however is take time out when I need it without worrying about getting stuff done when I do. You see my non-negotiables don't really change, whether I am on holiday or at home. Getting up early has become second nature for me. So this is how I roll and deal with overwhelm ...
- Simplify -
Focus on the one thing that is the one thing ... Brendon Burchard
- Get rid of any distractions -
I use brain.fm to help me focus ... I set it to run for 2 hours, plug in my ears and go!
- Grab your diary and plan your non-negotiable time, from there you will see where the gaps are.
Seriously plan in your workout time, meal time, travel time ... and don't cancel! The reason we get overwhelmed is that the first thing to give is time for you ... don't do it! It's just not worth the outcome ...
This will change your focus and give you an opportunity to do what you need to do for yourself to be happy and feel fulfilled. Then instead of focusing on what you don’t have and on what you want, instead, focus on what you already have and what you’re grateful for.
Make gratitude the first thought of the day ... and see what happens ...
Find out more about what the ladies on my Ultimate Body Formula Program do to ensure they make progress every day!
DOWNLOAD MY WOMAN IN MOTION CHEATSHEET HERE
Mindset Training Series #1
Have a Vision, Not a Goal!
If you want to accomplish as much as you possibly can, the most important thing to get right is the vision or goal you have. This is essentially the same as setting your course and without a course, you don’t stand much chance of getting to your destination.
I realised that my vision for my life was incomplete when I looked back at those holiday snaps. I was 'living the dream', but still felt inadequate, on the outside my life was perfect, but on the inside, I knew I could do better.
The girl staring back at me looked so much older than she should have. I knew I had lots of life to live and yet looking at the photos made me feel like I was ageing before my time.
I realised that I had no clear vision of my life and what I really wanted. I realised that like so many of us, I didn't know how to dream and envision my life, I realised that we never give ourselves permission to do so or set aside the time to write our goals down. This was standing in the way of my success.
Whether we choose to dream, to have a vision or to write down goals, it doesn't really matter, we just need a clear picture of what we want, I realised I had to take the time and do this for myself, to be honest about where I was at, the direction I was headed and decide if I was happy to continue along the same path.
The Difference Between a Goal and a Vision
So what’s the difference between a goal and a vision? Essentially, a goal is something that you write down and that is very concrete and simple. A goal may, for example, be to ‘lose 10lbs in two months’, in my case, it was about me getting my act together and taking control of my health, to get my life back on track, I realised that something had to change and I had to figure out what.
This posed as a vision rather than a goal would be more the idea of being in the best shape of my life, becoming the ultimate role model for women of my generation. I started to see myself as a strong healthy woman that had found success in all aspects of her life. I started to visualise myself looking fantastic and feeling healthy, fitting into my clothing, running along the beach in a bikini, and feeling great about myself. I started to own that vision, I saw an image of myself presenting to a large group of my peers and looking out to the crowd, knowing that I was doing what I love and that I was in a position of influence and feeling proud.
This is a much more abstract concept that nevertheless helps to get a picture of what you want and what the emotion behind that goal is.
Why Visions Work Better Than Goals
So why are visions more successful than goals? Well, for one, goals are not nearly flexible enough. If you have a goal, then this gives you one thing you’re trying accomplish and only one idea of how to get there. Lose 10lbs in a month.
In reality that is a big ask for most people, so let's say it doesn't go to plan ... have you failed? Or do you start again ... of course, you have the freedom to change the steps you’re going to take to get there or to bend them to fit your current lifestyle, plans and free time. No, you haven't failed ... It's OK! to start again ... JUST START!
The thing that is amazing about visions is that they have more emotion attached to them, so when you visualise something, the same region's fire in your brain as though it was actually happening. This, in turn, means that you can actually trigger the emotion as though it were happening and it’s this emotion we can use to motivate ourselves to go through with plans!
It doesn't matter how long it takes to achieve your goals, keeping the vision of yourself in the forefront of your mind is key. Being willing to try and try again until you get to your destination is the mark of a winner!
I love the quote: Winners never quit and quitters never win | Vince Lombardi
Try this Goal Setting - Visioning - Exercise
I’m sure you will agree that to achieve anything worthwhile in life we need to identify what it is we want to achieve. It then takes us committing to that goal or vision, so writing it down, deciding on a time scale, then telling everyone about it and then planning the steps to get there!
Been there in your career I bet … how about the other aspects of your life?
Why not now …
Easier said than done?
Not really, it just takes sitting down and thinking about it and this is your opportunity to do just that. I have a great exercise I use in my Ultimate Body Formula Program to help my clients set their goals and expectations and I want to share it with you. All you need to do to access it is to pop your details below, tell me where to send it.
Looking at those holiday photos, I realised I had no clear vision of where I wanted to be, I just knew I didn't want to be where I was, so my search started.
I got clear on what I wanted, it took me nearly 2 years to find a formula that works.
A formula that took me from feeling inadequate to be in the best shape of my life.
This is what I teach in my program.
To find out more about The Ultimate Body Formula Program, tell me a bit more about you and fill in my form ... CLICK HERE TO FILL IT IN ...
Read more about the holiday that changed my life: Rose Tinted Glasses … until the holiday snaps …
Want to make a big change in your life, but keep putting it off?
Maybe you want to transition into a new career …
Or to start looking after yourself better ...
Or maybe you’re waiting on making a decision because it could have a long-term impact on another area of your life.
There’s never going to be a “right time” to take the leap.
In fact, that time will never come.
And in the rare case it does, chances are good you still won’t feel ready.
So if there’s something you’ve been thinking about doing … something you’ve been procrastinating about … do it now.
Don’t wait. Life is short. This moment is your life ... do it now!
None of us knows what's going to happen in the future or what you will need to do to reach your goal.
We can only see the first step in front of us. Once we take that step, the next step reveals itself.
This is how our lives transition and transform in front of our eyes.
So rather than putting off doing that thing you want to do, be brave and take the step.
It WILL be scary.
Stepping into the unknown is daunting.
YES! You’re getting out of your comfort zone.
Feeling uncertain is perfectly normal and to be expected, this feeling is something you will need to learn to live with until you get used to your new, expanded reality.
So accepting this is going to be the case, you may as well act now, and then let the next step reveal itself when it’s time.
This is how we continually grow and move to the next level of life. The beauty of continuous motion, growth and evolution.
And the beautiful thing is, it never ends, there is always the next level.
Now … If you want to take the next step and discover how you can create massive positive change in your life.
And want to find out how the ladies on my Ultimate Body Formula Program do this every day and love the feeling ...
Download my WOMAN IN MOTION Cheat Sheet.
See you inside.
>>> CLICK HERE <<<
OR GO TO www.colettepienaar.com to find out more.
I am determined to make this year an exciting, productive year where I do everything with a purpose and that is to #thrive ... yes, my word of the year. Have you chosen yours? If not yet, go back here and choose your word ... and then commit yourself to do everything this year to achieve it.
Over the last week, I have been sharing my Transformation Series for 2019. A series of blogs and audio files where we have discovered the following things.
I started off by sharing my ideas for choosing your word of the year - in the spirit of this, I chose three words that sum up the series .. #dream #believe #achieve and over the series I have taken you through a thought process designed to help you make the most of this formative week of 2019.
1: DAY ONE #dream
Change your mind and the rest will follow...
As we head into the new year, this is a great way to begin. Ever wondered what it takes to be in a continual state of motion, a state of growth and development in all areas of our lives? Well, carry on reading ... it is as simple as a state of mind?
2: DAY TWO #believe
The small changes that create massive results in your life…
The seemingly insignificant changes in your life, that over time, change the whole direction and end destination of it. "It is never too late to become what you might have been." - GEORGE ELIOT
3: DAY THREE #believe
The Ripple Effect... Harness The Power Of Words In Your Life
Thousands of words pour out of our mouths each day as our thoughts, opinions, judgements and beliefs are freely expressed. Often, however, we are oblivious to the positive or negative effect these words have on ourselves and the people around us.
4: DAY FOUR #believe
You’ll See It When You Believe It! Growing Your Life From the Inside Out …
If you wait until you see it, to believe it, you may have a very long wait. if you opt to believe it right now, your life will start to fall into place – and you’ll feel a lot happier too.
5: DAY FIVE #achieve
Stop Hanging On, Waiting For Your Life To Happen …
Stop waiting for your life to happen! The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want is that they continue to move and you don’t.
6: DAY SIX #dream #believe #achieve
Hold on to your dreams ...
How many times have you abandoned an idea, project, program or dream because someone made a disparaging remark or rolled their eyes when you told them about it?
7: And today, DAY SEVEN #thrive
At this stage I wanted to encourage you to set your challenge and intention for the year, to dream a clear dream of where you want to be, to put everything in place so you are in the right frame of mind to believe you can do it and then to head out and start achieving the smallest of steps, taking these steps no matter how small builds momentum and gets you moving fast.
All of this action happens when you realise that your life won't change until and unless you assume responsibility for it and actually do something to change it. Sounds obvious, doesn't it. We all know that the grass is only green where you water it, so with this in mind taking small steps, lead to small wins, when we celebrate small wins we build momentum, when we do things that make us feel uncomfortable we build a belief in ourselves that we can achieve these things even when its tough and so we grow and move forward, therefore living in a continual state of motion.
The amazing thing is that exercise, or any physical exertion that forces us to step up, teaches us how tenacious we are, how hard we can push and despite struggling to keep up or to finish the set, we do, we find a way and no matter how the workout goes we have actually got up and done something positive for ourselves and that feels good! So if you are struggling to take action, go do something physical, then come back and do that thing that is stopping you in your tracks harnessing your energy boost and endorphin rush, brought on by physical activity. #winwin
One of the biggest challenges that we all face is taking ultimate responsibility for where we are in life. Learning to #thrive despite feeling that our lives are just spiralling out of control. Sometimes we all feel like the events and circumstances of our lives have led us along a path that we feel we have no control over, that it's got to be down to someone else, the circumstances we are in, the weather, late because of the trains ... etc ... these 'things are responsible' for 'our reality' at this moment in time. Is this true? Or is it down to us not taking charge and steering the ship one little click at a time... I think the latter.
The truth is that your life will not change until and unless you assume full responsibility for it. Responsibility, or your ability to respond, is not a way of accepting some form of blame as most people think, but rather a way of accepting your ability to respond to any situation. It is absolutely critical to realise and accept that it is never the actual events of your life but only your responses to these events that will shape and create it. You are never the creature of circumstances and you have the ultimate ability to consciously decide what things mean and how to respond to it.
You are the only one that can and the only one that will take you where you want to go in your life.
Responsibility is not some skill you need to go and find outside of yourself but it is something you already possess. All you need to do is to assume this power that calls on you to stop blaming anything and everything other than yourself.
Most of us have been conditioned to blame someone else for the parts of our lives that don't work. When you take full responsibility for your life you put yourself back in charge; you get back in behind the wheel of your life and now you have the ability to control and direct your life the way you choose to. Ultimately it is not the conditions of your life but rather the decisions about what things mean and what you are going to do about it that will create the reality of your life.
When you are fully responsible you recognise that you are the creator of your life.
At some level you were responsible. If not by your conscious actions, then by the meanings and emotions you attached to the events and experiences. Only when you accept responsibility for creating everything in your life can you start to un-create and re-create it the way you truly want.
If you keep blaming someone or something else you will remain stuck because you will always rely on something or someone else to be responsible for the way you feel and ultimately someone else will be responsible for the state of your life.
You have to consciously unfold your arms, get out of the back seat and get back behind the wheel and start directing your life towards where you want it to go, instead of just going with the flow.
See, there are only two real choices in life, the one conscious and the other unconscious: you can either choose to be directed by the events and circumstances of life and let the river of life take you wherever it's going or you can have both your hands on the steering wheel and decide that you are in full control. You get to decide where you go. Although you can't control all the events of your life, you can always decide what the events mean to you and how you are going to respond. Whenever anything happens to you, you have an opportunity to respond to it in order to create the outcome. Most people have fallen into the cultural hypnosis that just passes the responsibility on to someone else. This is why their lives feel out of control, well that's because it is. They have not yet taken responsibility.
You create your world.
When you assume your responsibility you are in charge and this is an internal shift in your thinking and behaviour. Your psychology is not just a big part of your life but it is "everything." Winning and losing in life is an internal game. By learning to control and direct your mind you get to choose what things mean and therefore you get to choose your response, also known as your responsibility. No one can ever give you responsibility. It is an internal process and a switch that only you can turn on or off.
Being fully responsible doesn't mean you live in blame and self-pity. It means that you live life from a place of power where you know that on some level you are fully responsible for what happened and you will be responsible for everything that is to come.
Be careful how you use your past experiences. With responsibility comes a new emotional territory that has the power to reinvent your past. Using your past as a place to learn from and a place to pull pleasure from, right, wrong or indifferent, there is a gift in there somewhere. You just need to find it. It's never too late to have a happy childhood, you have the ability (and response-ability) to find an empowering meaning in whatever life gives you.
Responsibility means that you are in charge. You call the shots. Nobody and nothing is in control and to blame other than you. This is how you turn problems into opportunities and how an ordinary life becomes extraordinary.
Helen Keller, who was both blind and deaf, said that :
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
What is it going to be for you?
You can either let the environment steer your life or you can get behind the wheel and take responsibility for every aspect of it.
Life is one amazing adventure, but only if you perceive it as that. By being responsible you can take yourself anywhere you want to go because you are the only one who gets to steer your ship and direct the course. You can't control the wind but you can most certainly direct your sails.
In saying all of this, are you set up for the next leg of your journey? Do you know your destination and the route you are going to take? Are you ready to RUN ...
The best advice I can give anyone wanting to change things is just to start.
Do something small today, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable - by doing so - you win! This builds incredible momentum and you will start moving towards your goals super fast.
Download my WOMAN IN MOTION cheat sheet and see how you can get moving fast.
Everyone who is successful in life asks for help ... none of us 'knows it all' ... your challenges are not unique, there is always someone who has walked your path if not one very similar, there is no shame in acknowledging where the leaks in the ship are and plugging the gaps ...
DOWNLOAD THE CHEAT SHEET HERE
If you have downloaded my cheat sheet and worked through the exercises and feel like you are ready to ask for help, then take some time now and fill in my form and tell me more about you. Let's see if I can help you take the next steps in your fitness journey.
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