Mindset Training Series #2
How to Build a Gratitude Attitude and be Free Right Now
If there is one place where we should be completely free, then it is in our own mind. We might have limitations in terms of what our bodies are capable of and what we’re allowed to do – but our minds should be free to roam wherever we want them to.
We should be able to dream big dreams and not be limited by our thoughts ... and yet we are. Our thoughts are often dictated by our circumstances and at times those circumstances feel like they are largely out of our control.
This is why we will often find ourselves feeling dissatisfied and constantly wanting to push forward, frustrated by our situation, our lack of time, our million jobs to do and feeling overwhelmed, and life just gets too much. We get resentful, angry and rather than stopping to take a moment, refocus and simplify things, to maybe live and enjoy the day, all progress stops.
Been there? I bet you have. I bet some of us are there right now ...
What is your answer when someone asks ... Are You Happy?
We all want to be happy, fulfilled and feeling like we are making good progress in life, correct? As business owners, probably perfectionists, it is hard not to live in a state of dissatisfaction. Where we constantly feel like we can do better, we should do better, maybe life would be better if we did, X, Y & Z.
Yes, there is always room for improvement. The key I have come to realise is to be satisfied with the work you are doing and the steps you are taking and the success you have had so far.
In preparation for the year ahead, I have been working through a Clarity and Planning exercise that I was introduced to by my friend Jane Frankland from Cyber Security Capital. What an eye-opener it has been. The first part is about rating your performance in key areas of life like - physical fitness & health - food nutrition - psychological & emotional health - relationships & family life - social & friends - job, career & business - leisure - spiritual - environmental - intellectual & learning - finances. From there you are asked to make a list of your successes & achievements for the past year - OMG! I started writing these down and realised just how far I had come and how much I had actually achieved in the year. I could see where my focus had been and how it had shifted from the year before, what an amazing exercise to do.
So now when I find myself feeling as though there’s this ‘one thing’ that could make my life better and be happier, I am reminded of all the things I have achieved and feel grateful and proud and am able to acknowledge my wins. #thankyoujane
It's about a mental shift in attitude, taking the time to plan and reflect is so important especially for us as business owners. It's not always just about the numbers, its about all the other things on the periphery too.
Why do we do what we do? Why are we business owners? Why do we get out of bed in the morning and take on another day? Where is your focus now? Where should it be?
All valid questions worth a serious answer ...
Do you need to make a change?
So how do you make a change and start to be freer and happier right now?
Dealing with overwhelm is one of the most difficult things to do when you are feeling like everything is too much. In reality, life is cha-cha-cha ... we all take little steps forwards and backwards but ultimately make progress.
The 3 things I do when facing overwhelm ... are ...
- Get rid of any distractions
- Grab a diary and plan in non-negotiable time, from there it is easy to see where the gaps are.
Start with your diary and block out non-negotiable time for when you are travelling, picking up kids, going to the gym, prepping your food, taking some downtime. Then take your optimists' hat off and get realistic about how much time you actually have in your day for other things, like checking social media, catching up on email, taking phone calls meetings and all other things related to work. What gets planned gets measured ... so apply this principle to your day.
The way I do this is to split my day into thirds:
5am - 8:00am - I get up at 5am - quick stretch, water, coffee and I then head to my desk for 5:30 - this gives me 2+hours of uninterrupted time to work on my business and I only do the things that will help move me forward that day - so no social media or email catchups - its too easy to get distracted by these and get stuck in the rabbit hole - lol - I know you know what I mean.
8:00 - 1:30pm - I then get going, shower, breakfast and work in my business, this allows me to connect in class, on coaching calls, posting on social media, answering emails etc. I usually work until lunchtime and use this as a natural break to get some food in, take the dogs for a walk and do the little things that make me happy.
2:00 - dogs out, decompress and take some time
4:00 - 7:00pm - I then head back to my desk for another few hours late afternoon where I work in my business until hubby gets home and we have dinner and catch up time. If I need to I will then head back to my desk and get another hour or so working on my business before bed around 10:30pm.
So that may sound like a lot of work time - and yes it is - what this routine allows me to do however is take time out when I need it without worrying about getting stuff done when I do. You see my non-negotiables don't really change, whether I am on holiday or at home. Getting up early has become second nature for me. So this is how I roll and deal with overwhelm ...
- Simplify -
Focus on the one thing that is the one thing ... Brendon Burchard
- Get rid of any distractions -
I use brain.fm to help me focus ... I set it to run for 2 hours, plug in my ears and go!
- Grab your diary and plan your non-negotiable time, from there you will see where the gaps are.
Seriously plan in your workout time, meal time, travel time ... and don't cancel! The reason we get overwhelmed is that the first thing to give is time for you ... don't do it! It's just not worth the outcome ...
This will change your focus and give you an opportunity to do what you need to do for yourself to be happy and feel fulfilled. Then instead of focusing on what you don’t have and on what you want, instead, focus on what you already have and what you’re grateful for.
Make gratitude the first thought of the day ... and see what happens ...
Find out more about what the ladies on my Ultimate Body Formula Program do to ensure they make progress every day!
DOWNLOAD MY WOMAN IN MOTION CHEATSHEET HERE
Mindset Training Series #1
Have a Vision, Not a Goal!
If you want to accomplish as much as you possibly can, the most important thing to get right is the vision or goal you have. This is essentially the same as setting your course and without a course, you don’t stand much chance of getting to your destination.
I realised that my vision for my life was incomplete when I looked back at those holiday snaps. I was 'living the dream', but still felt inadequate, on the outside my life was perfect, but on the inside, I knew I could do better.
The girl staring back at me looked so much older than she should have. I knew I had lots of life to live and yet looking at the photos made me feel like I was ageing before my time.
I realised that I had no clear vision of my life and what I really wanted. I realised that like so many of us, I didn't know how to dream and envision my life, I realised that we never give ourselves permission to do so or set aside the time to write our goals down. This was standing in the way of my success.
Whether we choose to dream, to have a vision or to write down goals, it doesn't really matter, we just need a clear picture of what we want, I realised I had to take the time and do this for myself, to be honest about where I was at, the direction I was headed and decide if I was happy to continue along the same path.
The Difference Between a Goal and a Vision
So what’s the difference between a goal and a vision? Essentially, a goal is something that you write down and that is very concrete and simple. A goal may, for example, be to ‘lose 10lbs in two months’, in my case, it was about me getting my act together and taking control of my health, to get my life back on track, I realised that something had to change and I had to figure out what.
This posed as a vision rather than a goal would be more the idea of being in the best shape of my life, becoming the ultimate role model for women of my generation. I started to see myself as a strong healthy woman that had found success in all aspects of her life. I started to visualise myself looking fantastic and feeling healthy, fitting into my clothing, running along the beach in a bikini, and feeling great about myself. I started to own that vision, I saw an image of myself presenting to a large group of my peers and looking out to the crowd, knowing that I was doing what I love and that I was in a position of influence and feeling proud.
This is a much more abstract concept that nevertheless helps to get a picture of what you want and what the emotion behind that goal is.
Why Visions Work Better Than Goals
So why are visions more successful than goals? Well, for one, goals are not nearly flexible enough. If you have a goal, then this gives you one thing you’re trying accomplish and only one idea of how to get there. Lose 10lbs in a month.
In reality that is a big ask for most people, so let's say it doesn't go to plan ... have you failed? Or do you start again ... of course, you have the freedom to change the steps you’re going to take to get there or to bend them to fit your current lifestyle, plans and free time. No, you haven't failed ... It's OK! to start again ... JUST START!
The thing that is amazing about visions is that they have more emotion attached to them, so when you visualise something, the same region's fire in your brain as though it was actually happening. This, in turn, means that you can actually trigger the emotion as though it were happening and it’s this emotion we can use to motivate ourselves to go through with plans!
It doesn't matter how long it takes to achieve your goals, keeping the vision of yourself in the forefront of your mind is key. Being willing to try and try again until you get to your destination is the mark of a winner!
I love the quote: Winners never quit and quitters never win | Vince Lombardi
Try this Goal Setting - Visioning - Exercise
I’m sure you will agree that to achieve anything worthwhile in life we need to identify what it is we want to achieve. It then takes us committing to that goal or vision, so writing it down, deciding on a time scale, then telling everyone about it and then planning the steps to get there!
Been there in your career I bet … how about the other aspects of your life?
Why not now …
Easier said than done?
Not really, it just takes sitting down and thinking about it and this is your opportunity to do just that. I have a great exercise I use in my Ultimate Body Formula Program to help my clients set their goals and expectations and I want to share it with you. All you need to do to access it is to pop your details below, tell me where to send it.
Looking at those holiday photos, I realised I had no clear vision of where I wanted to be, I just knew I didn't want to be where I was, so my search started.
I got clear on what I wanted, it took me nearly 2 years to find a formula that works.
A formula that took me from feeling inadequate to be in the best shape of my life.
This is what I teach in my program.
To find out more about The Ultimate Body Formula Program, tell me a bit more about you and fill in my form ... CLICK HERE TO FILL IT IN ...
Read more about the holiday that changed my life: Rose Tinted Glasses … until the holiday snaps …